Nursing my daughter until age 7?

It's hard to imagine one day Azalea won't be nursing anymore.  She's been stuck on me from the day she was born and shows no signs of weaning just yet. I know some kids don't wean until 7 and I wonder if I'd nurse her for THAT long if she wanted.  I'm still undecided on that.. as much as Id want her to nurse for as long as she'd like, it will be a little weird nursing someone close to my same height... (since I didn't grow THAT much after age 8... LOL... I'm only 4'10")  oh man, the image of that made me laugh!

Sleepover for Addi

My little guy just called me and told me that he was spending the night at his grandparents.  He didn't even ask permission! He just told me! LOL! These little things show me how quickly we enter different stages in life... he was JUST a baby and now he's scheduling his own sleepovers! 

Kevin McCallister for a son!

oh my gosh, I have a little Kevin McCallister for a son! Talk about being an opinionated little boy... we're currently living out a scene of Home Alone in our car & I did not know that Kevin's character would be so much like my little guy's real life personality! :D

Stay at home mom rant...

*sighs* I have the best "job" in the world. I'm absolutely convinced of it.  A lot of parents yearn for free time away from their kiddos and here I am with mine day in and day out & I enjoy every second of it.  Granted, I am usually exhausted... and sometimes I can't shower until Ash walks through the door after work, but I can honestly say that I feel extremely fulfilled being a stay at home mom to my kids.  It's a stage in my life that I am giving my ALL... and giving your all feels great especially when it's to children, and even more awesome, when it's to your own.  I love my family & I enjoy the life I live with them... I am so grateful for all these blessings <3.

Our food budget

Lately I've been on a mission to eliminate the possibility of my family and I eating outside of our home as much as possible.  I'm talking NO RESTAURANTS, no fast food joints -(except Qdoba's because its our favorite!) - and no ordering IN!  Aside from health reasons, eating out at fast food restaurants adds up quickly and it can mean the difference of a couple hundred dollars extra a month that we spend on "food."

It may come as a surprise, but I've also been working on our monthly budget to see exactly how much money it takes to feed our family of four if we cook and bake everything (or almost everything) ourselves.  We are trying to cut costs, but our grocery bill always averages around $150 a week. Granted, we purchase a lot of organic items. In fact, mostly all of our items in the pantry are organic or GMO-free. All of our fruits and veggies are organic as well as well as our chicken.  Our ground beef is grass-fed organic and even our hot dogs are the organic & Nitrate and Nitrite free kind.  These are choices that we have made which we are not willing to compromise on though.  We would love to see our grocery bills lower, but its a small price to pay for food that is healthy. We shop at Trader Joes so the organic items are reasonably priced compared to all the other grocery stores we previously shopped at.  We know that if we continue to hold up the standard of buying organic, this is as nice as our bills will look for now.

Knowing that we spend close to $600 a month of groceries, we do not have the means to buy any food outside of our home.  Yea, we can always swipe our credit card, but currently that is not an option.

I have been cooking up a storm these past few weeks.  I planned a menu for the weeks ahead and I'm making sure to keep our fridge stocked with cooked foods.  Keeping the fridge stocked eliminates us from ordering in when don't want to cook. Every single day, I survey our fridge and the contents of our storage containers to see if I need to make more rice, pasta, beans, veggies, chicken, or whatever else we need replenishing to complete our meals. I also make it my duty to cook or bake EVERY SINGLE DAY.  It's extremely important to have food to munch on when hunger or craving strikes! I think that was our biggest downfall before... not having enough food readily available.

Now that I know what our plan is in terms of handling our food expenses, Ive been experimenting with new recipes and trying new techniques in the kitchen.  It is so much fun!!! I am loving baking the most; I think it's because my 4 year old son loves to help me measure all the ingredients and gets so giddy when we put our concoction in oven.  He has a lot of fun with helping me... and I enjoy his excitement and his bright eyes that take it all in. 

I might finally get around to adding some recipes I use in the next few weeks to this blog which will have my seal of approval. Hopefully I remember and I get around to it! :) 

Taking a break!

All week I've had a bed full of laundry to put away... and it's still waiting for me. I wish I could just ::poof!:: it all away. It's been a week where I am totally not caring much for the toys on the floor, dishes in the sink, or clothes to fold and put away. It gets so redundant - same thing every week. Make the beds, sweep the floor, cook food, wash dishes, bathe the kids... eh, sometimes I feel like I don't have an ounce of energy left & then the kids are hungry... and then I'm cooking AGAIN. This stay at home mom thing is 24/7... what looks like a break usually isn't a break because there is always something to do when you're finished taking a nap (that comes once every few months btw) or when you've ignored the toys on the floor and dishes in the sink for too long.  I usually am always a "get it done type of gal," but this week was completely different. I took a "break" even though most of it was mental... since my house doesn't seem too untidy, the kids aren't too dirty, and my fridge has food that is already cooked and ready to be eaten! I guess sometimes it is okay for the laundry to stay unfolded and scattered on our bed... it reminds me that though sometimes I feel like a robot - completing task after task - I am human and can make the choice to ignore some of my stresses and just let it all be!

Ignoring a mess is usually a hard task for me... I love everything in order and I'm a bit OCD-ish. But this week - like I said, was different! The toys stayed longer on the floor, dishes weren't done on "auto-pilot" mode & I did not write down my To-do list for each day.  I felt incredibly unmotivated to get the ball rolling each day, but I knew that difficulty was short term! 

All that will change next week. Back to the daily to-do lists and the organized days where I challenge myself to get every single task done. It's better that way. As much as I'd love to be unproductive for a whole week at a time, it's definitely not as satisfying as having the dishes washed and put away and the laundry sorted and in their designated draws! I like a clean house... even though I have moments when I would prefer not to be the one cleaning it!

I can't "afford" this lifestyle.

I had just finished nursing Azalea and was on to finishing cutting up the veggies to make some vegetable soup & my little boy quickly climbed onto my lap as soon as Azalea got off. He snuggled up and said "hold me mommy... lets cuddle!" and started kissing me.

I am always in awe at how long it takes me to cook or get dressed or get out of the house, but the truth is, many of my tasks are halted mid-way for kisses and hugs, and loving these kiddies that are in my life.  I struggle to finish all the tasks on my to-do list because I have many different to-do's to complete along with my own... and they usually include making sure my little ones are fed, clean, and given ample attention throughout the day.  I feel like I do a million different things and its because many times I do, but at the end of the day, I can honestly say that I am living my dream... and there is nothing else I'd rather do.

My husband and I are not rich and there is not enough money in our bank account to say that we can "afford" this lifestyle of me being a stay at home mom, but I know that I cannot "afford" to miss out on these opportunities for hugs and kisses and laughs and all the moments that I get to share with these lives that I am responsible for.  I rather make the sacrifice of not saving for my retirement than it come at the cost of time spent with my children.  

There is no denying that if I was "working" today, I would have missed out on that opportunity to cuddle my Addi and to get his sweet kisses on my nose.  Either someone else would have received them or he wouldn't have expressed it at all.  The thought of that crushes me! Every time I cuddle him and his sister during the day, I'm reminded of how many other parents and children are missing out on the opportunity to do the same.  Many times, both parents NEED to work to meet the basic needs of their household, but those that don't HAVE to work, they should definitely weigh whether its worth the extra cash to miss out on the sweetest hugs and kisses they will EVER get in their lifetime!