Life has a way of teaching us lessons at every twist and turn. With each new experience, a part of us that thought we had "it" all figured out realizes that it was truly a mystery up until that very moment. So many times in my life I have had to humble myself and accept that I thought I knew something that I truly had no idea about. Those moments are my personal teachable moments and those experiences are irreplaceable in my life. If it wasn't for me making a fool out of my so-called "knowledge," I would not have learned the important lessons I had to learn in this life.
Take for instance this situation: Before I got married, I had the privilege of being the nanny to one of the most intelligent and brilliant little girls I've ever met, whose parents were the most kindest, generous, & thoughtful people I've met to this day... So here I was babysitting: taking care of her making sure she didn't get hurt and was entertained etc... AND I thought I had it all figured out about potty training. I thought kids just needed to realize that they had no choice but to use the toilet once they hit a certain age or when their parents started the process of "potty training." I think back on this time & my experience potty training this little girl & I want to smack myself for being so incredibly clueless. Having my own son, who at the age of almost 4 is not yet fully potty trained has taught me so much about the process through a parents eyes. I have tried everything... and things that I was sure would work still have not.
I remember during nannying, I believed the little girl was ready since he showed all signs of being ready, but she still needed a little time... no pressure. I wish I knew how to just give her and her parents time back then. Instead, I wrote them this lengthly letter about how ready she was and how she feels she has a choice in the matter so that's why she's not fully potty-trained then and there! Ah, I still feel like smacking myself when I think about it. Clueless wasn't even the word to describe me.
As a parents, every situation our child faces has the potential to scar them in the process & we try our best to reduce trauma of any sort in our children's lives. We practice patience and "waiting it out" because we only want the best for them. We endure diapers full of poop for just a little while longer while holding on to the hope that one day... one day (soon, hopefully?) our child will all of a sudden get over the fear of pooping in the toilet. We let them be babies and toddlers for just a bit longer while enjoying the prolonged avoidance of torture of teaching them how to use public restrooms... yuck!
If there is one thing potty training has taught me, it's that it is best not rushed. From all that I have read and experienced through the years, it's best to let your child's enthusiasm lead the way and just be there as a parent to assist and teach when it's necessary. Potty training is a process for most kids - definitely not something that happens overnight!
I plan on encouraging my son every chance I get to do his pee & poop in the toilet, but I will not force him. I will not create an environment of fear in his life... fear tactics create more problems compared to solving problems. I will hold on to the hope that one day, something or someone will motivate him enough to give it a try. I think that day is right around the corner! :) Yay for us! He's doing pee fine, but poop is another story :D
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